Gym characters who must train harder
I thought we’d go down the route of the satirical and humorous, with a dash of serious sprinkled in. Among us lurk gym characters who must train harder. Are you one of them? I will stamp this whole article with a caveat. If for any reason, you’re not in the position to train harder, but are doing something – my respect is yours. The below is based upon some typical funny gym characters. It’s within their power to train harder, yet they continually question why they aren’t progressing. Unfortunately, our funny gym characters have mastered progression of an opposing skill, the incredible ability to waste not only their own time, but everyone else’s too. Could you train harder? Remember my adaptation response article? It covered the necessity of training harder in order to achieve your chosen fitness goal. No? It’s a key article in understanding the meaning of fitness progression. I will repeat this until I’m blue in the face…. You must train harder to trigger an adaptation response. Your hard isn’t my hard and the ability to generate more intensity increases over time. Unless you’re giving your body a reason to get fitter, it won’t. Exercise quality over quantity I won’t go into too much depth as there’s a whole other post coming on exercise quality over quantity. Within my corporate world, businesses are littered with employees who’ve long stagnated within a current role. These (often talented) people have craved promotion and been ‘overlooked’ in favour of newer talent. Why? If you spoke to the overlooked, the reason would be obvious favouritism/face doesn’t fit etc. Most of the time the truth answer lies within something I call ‘repeater syndrome’. The length of service would be 10 years, actual years spent learning new skills is 2 years and 8 years have been repeated. We’re fond of relating time served as expertise. What on earth do I mean and how does this relate to gym goals? An example: two years ago, both Arnold and Sly commenced their gym journey with similar muscle building goals. Arnold Sly Are you an Arnold or one of the below funny gym characters? You’ve dedicated time to working out and getting fit. Achieving a goal requires focus, dedication and purpose. Being able to train hard is a privilege not all can participate in. You attend the gym for a reason – could you train harder? Meet the funny gym characters Who must train harder Welcome to the modern gym, a place where iron meets willpower, where sweat and determination forge the best versions of ourselves. Or at least, that’s what it’s supposed to be. Instead, what we often find is a circus of half-hearted efforts, featuring a colourful cast of characters who bring more entertainment than inspiration. The Gym Mobile Phone Addict Meet the gym mobile phone addict, the gym-goer whose thumbs are more muscular than their biceps. These people can be found occupying prime gym real estate with one hand lifting weights and the other furiously texting. Their workout playlist is a seamless blend of half-reps and notifications. The Scrollers These people can lift their phones to eye level with perfect form but struggle to perform a single proper rep. They seem to believe that muscle growth is directly proportional to the number of likes on their latest post. Between sets, they scroll through endless memes, occasionally chuckling and sharing their screen with a friend. 30 minutes between sets is a mandatory requirement to join the gym mobile maniacs elite. The Video Callers Not content with merely texting, some Titans take it up a notch with video calls. They’ll prop their phone on a dumbbell rack and chat away, barely breaking a sweat. Their form is questionable, but their social life is on point. The Phantom Texter It’s always thumb day! Always texting, updating statuses and taking Snapchat stories. Occasionally, the eyes are lifted and some very light weights, but only for a selfie. The Playlist Perfectionist These gym goers spend more time curating the workout playlist than lifting weights. Each set is delayed by an exhaustive search for the perfect pump-up song. If the track doesn’t have the right beat, the set must immediately be abandoned in order to search for a more banging tune! The Social Media Star the workout isn’t complete without documenting every moment on Instagram. They spend more time perfecting the pose, adjusting lighting, and selecting filters than actually working out. By the end of the session, they’re more likely to have a cramp from holding a phone than from any physical exertion. The Business Man/Woman Ah the ultimate gym mobile phone addict. The gym is this persons personal call centre. Whether it’s chatting with friends or making business calls, the phone conversations dominate gym time. This persons idea of multitasking? Discussing dinner plans and closing a deal, all whilst attempting half-hearted reps. They should wear their business attire to the gym (no chance of it getting sweaty) and keep an office chair handy. The Gym Gossip Guru The Treadmill Talk Show The treadmill area transforms into their personal talk show. Topics range from neighborhood drama to celebrity scandals. No subject is off-limits. The treadmill walk is peppered with laughter, gasps, and the occasional dramatic pause. As they walk, they wave at acquaintances and occasionally greet other gym-goers, but nothing diverts their attention from their primary mission: gossiping. The only time they break a sweat is when a particularly juicy piece of news makes them laugh uncontrollably. Weightlifting, Sort Of After their intense cardio session, it’s time for some gym gossip guru weightlifting session. But don’t be fooled, the heaviest thing they lift is their water bottles. They make their way to the free weights area, choosing a spot where they can continue their conversation without interruption. Up comes a 5-pound dumbbell for a couple of bicep curls, and it’s immediately put down to emphasise a point about the latest drama. The training partner picks up the 5k dumbbell and … Read more